So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize