its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
