he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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