and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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