I heard we made out
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
