from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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