So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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