I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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