I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Randomize