I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
