he puts the penis in happiness.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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