So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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