Screwed.edu
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
