That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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