Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
