Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
