She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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