can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
