He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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