Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The uberlube is also flammable
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
