he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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