Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
