Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Let's get the cat blown out
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
