Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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