you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
