no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize