The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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