Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
