yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
