I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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