could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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