No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
