I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
