I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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