Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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