wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
not ubering you a puppy
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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