i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
