We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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