Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
