he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
