Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
