nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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