Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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