It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
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I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think my moral compass just broke
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize