My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
