I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
