I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
