I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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