My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm too high and old for this...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
