Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This house was built for laser tag.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
