New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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