Nicole vs. Life
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
