She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
