She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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